How Many Extracurricular Activities?

It's Wednesday night tonight. We look forward to Wednesdays because we have more family time since there are no activities after school. Mondays we have piano, tap and jazz. Tuesdays and Thursdays the kids have had soccer. Now soccer practice is just on Tuesdays so we can go to AWANA on Thursday nights. Saturdays we have two soccer games. For those of you who have school-aged children this schedule might sound familiar. Your children may even be involved in more than that. For those of you with babies and young children this is part of why I wrote Cherishing Every Moment. Life gets busier as they get older. There are some nonnegotiables such as school. School is not a choice. You can choose to homeschool in order to have more time with your children and a shorter school day. I know a number of moms who do that and are very happy for the extra time they have with their children. What additional activities your children are involved in outside of school is your choice. Now come the questions: How many? Which ones? Do you set a guideline such as only two outside activities at a time? These can be tough questions especially when other moms and dads are talking about it and asking if your child is signed up for such and such.

According to the article The Myth of the Over-Scheduled Child I found on Connect with Kids "Research shows five to ten hours per week is an ideal number. However, children should be involved in activities for intrinsic reasons - not because parents or teachers are forcing them" The article does not indicate what age group this number of hours is intended. Is it just teenagers or is it for younger children as well? Regardless, it is interesting and a quick read. Another article shows that Youths aged 12 to 17 who participated in activities during the past year were less likely to have used cigarettes, alcohol, or illicit drugs in the past month than youths who did not participate in these activities during the past year.

My husband and I originally decided on placing Nathan and Rachel in the activities we did because we thought it would help them to become well-rounded. We have been a lot busier as a family as result of these choices. I have found myself questioning whether the reasons we have them in these things are the right ones. Just recently I have come across articles like the ones mentioned above. The Bible does not direct us in the amount or type of activities our kids should participate in. Upon reflection, I believe the answer may be different for individual families and children. I do think, however, that it would be good for all of us to consider a few things when we're deciding how many and which extra activities for our children. Are we keeping our priorities straight in the midst of everything? Do we have enough family time and time with God? Is our family negatively affected by what we are doing/not doing? Do we have enough time to invest in others outside of our family?

How do you choose which and how many activities for your children? Do you have any guidelines you follow? For those of you with young children, I encourage you to think and reflect on this some before your children are old enough to participate in them. For those of you who have older children, any thoughts? Would you choose the same or differently for them if you were to do it over again?

Working Backwards

Something new on Passionate Purposeful Parenting -- Every Wednesday there will be a guest writer/contributor. They are godly women and men who after prayerful consideration are joining PPP as a guest contributor. I am really looking forward to reading what they have to share. Today's post is by my dear husband of 12 years Tyler:

I admit it. I’m not terribly Purposeful. More specifically, I’m not a big goal-setter. My wife can attest to this. She would like us to map out 5 and 10 year plans. I’d rather “play it by ear”, “take things one day a time”, aka “avoid commitment”. I could say I'm leaving room for God to work, but I'm probably avoiding having discipline in my life.

I know goals can be good. Without them, each decision I make is ad-hoc and disconnected; I’m easily swayed by my current emotions and desires. Goals focus me, give me direction and consistency for important decisions I make.

As a parent, it’s easy to just play things by ear with our kids. When I’m tired it’s easy to stick a movie on for my kids instead of talking to them about their day or mine. It’s easy to play earnestly with them; it’s much harder to pray earnestly with them. Without goals that govern my time with my kids, I will usually choose the path of least resistance.

Do you have goals for raising your children? What do you hope their lives are like when they are adults? What would you consider success in raising your children? What would God?

As a Christian, I believe that I have a unique responsibility to raise my children by Godly principles. I believe my goal should be to raise my children with the best chance to have a personal and deep commitment to the Lord, one that inspires them to honor Him with their lives. That’s my goal.

Awhile back I set out to find a book about how to realize this goal with my children. Did you know there’s over 75,000 books on parenting? Being an analytical person, I was hoping for a book based not on someone’s opinion, but instead on research and Biblical principles. As luck(?) would have it, a new book had just been written by George Barna, the renowned Christian researcher and statistician. His goal was to find strong, committed young Christian adults ("spiritual champions"), and then determine if there were any common factors in how they were raised.

And you know what he found? The most important factor in raising spiritual champions was that the parents made it their #1 goal to do so.

"I'm Sorry." and "Will You Forgive Me?"

Have you ever heard the words "I'm sorry" and felt as if it didn't really mean anything? I have learned that there is a difference between the two phrases "I'm sorry" and Will you forgive me?" One is a statement not necessarily requiring a response from the person to whom you are speaking. The other is a question requiring a response. When you ask the offended person if he/she would forgive you for whatever you did toward them, you are acknowledging that you have done something to the other person that requires a response -- for them to forgive you. By approaching forgiveness in this way, we accept responsibility; we acknowledge that we have caused pain or injury to someone else. Asking forgiveness allows both you and the offended party to understand that you are seeking true reconciliation. Matthew 5: 23-25 Forgiveness is something that needs to be both given and received. Ephesians 4:32 When you unintentionally do something to another person such as bumping into them, there is no need to ask "forgiveness"; saying "I'm sorry" or "Pardon me" would be fine. You are just letting them know you feel badly for what has happened. When you sin against another person, one should seek forgiveness. Here is an additional article on Understanding Biblical Forgiveness.

The key to any of these phrases is contrition. Contrition is sincere remorse for wrongdoing. When teaching children to ask forgivness, it's important to try and reach their heart and not just have them go through the motion or say it glibly with little thought or concern. It doesn't mean anything. Part of asking forgiveness is admiting that you did wrong, confessing it, and then asking for forgiveness. In asking for forgiveness it's important to be sincere and to come from a place where you desire not to do it again.

When my children were young, I learned about having them ask forgiveness instead of just saying I'm sorry. Unfortunately we didn't get to their heart and help them to understand what must be behind those words. As a result, a lot of times they would just go through the motions of saying it and not meaning it. In trying to reach their heart, we've seen a difference when they ask for forgiveness. There are definitely still times when they just say the words, but there are also many occasions when they are sincere. I believe modeling this concept for our children has helped too. When I sin against my children, I try to confess what I did and humbly and sincerely ask their forgiveness.

Note to those who receive this post via email: On the bottom of each email post is the Passionate Purposeful Parenting link. By clicking on this link it will take you directly to the website where you can post a comment and read other people's comments as well (there have been a lot of encouraging and helpful comments). There is also a new "verse of the day" and "Motivation for Moms" every day. In addition there are also a number of resources I have found helpful on the resource page of the website.

A little of my heart -- Being Real

Who am I? I asked myself this question this week. Who am I to be doing Passionate Purposeful Parenting? I questioned whether I could and should be doing it. This question stemmed from a discussion I had with another parent about Nathan. I asked if Nathan was respectful in this parent’s center. He hesitated and told me that he corrected his pronunciation of “been.” Later when I asked my son, he remembers it differently saying that others in his group did but he agreed with the parent that it could be pronounced a couple of ways. I wasn’t sure how to handle it. This may seem relatively minor, but when something like this happens I reflect more on the areas in my son and daughter which make me sad or are discouraging. I get down on myself and my parenting and start thinking that I’m not doing a good job or that I should be parenting differently. I know, though, that I shouldn’t have too high or unrealistic expectations of my children or myself; we all need grace. Seeking God, His wisdom, direction and guidance is key to focusing on what I need to at these times. I was reminded that it is not me that can do PPP – it is God in me! If He is leading me to do PPP, I need to do it! I need to trust in Him that He will give me all I need to accomplish what He desires for me to accomplish. God is so good to remind me of this through the encouragement and positive feedback I’ve received from others as well.

Passionate Purposeful Parenting isn’t meant to be all the things I do or have done as a parent. It is a resource to encourage and help equip parents by sharing God’s words, biblical principles, wisdom, resources and experiences. It is also a way for us as parents to share our own thoughts, ideas or experiences and ones we have learned from others that may be helpful. When I am thinking and praying about what to write, I gather ideas and write about them. They are not things I do every day; they are things that I have done or seek to do, or things I’ve learned from others or from trial and error and mistakes. One of the main reasons for starting PPP was to create a means of communicating to moms things that I wished I had known or done when my children were younger. I am far from a perfect parent and my children are far from perfect children. I desire to continue to be real with you and for us to be real with each other. Let us all be encouraged, keeping everything in perspective, always being prayerful. Thank you so much for your questions, thoughts, suggestions and comments. They have been so helpful in trying to achieve the goal of Passionate Purposeful Parenting --to encourage and help equip each other to be the best parents we can be to our precious children!

Thoughts on Halloween

This is a tough subject. There are some who have very strong ideas and opinions regarding Halloween. A few of my friends recommended I write a post about the topic and even shared with me some of their thoughts as well. Some of my Christian friends really enjoy this time of year and what comes with the Halloween holiday. Others do their best to avoid Halloween altogether. To be honest, it is my least favorite holiday. I'm not a big fan of all the candy, the scary decorations and costumes, the threat of pranks (tricks). It is fun, though, to carve out the pumpkin and enjoy roasted pumpkin seeds as a family. For a couple of years, my children did not go trick or treating. I wasn't sure how I should respond as a believer. After speaking to friends and reading a number or articles, I thought I would share with you a few things I learned and my thoughts and opinions based on what I know.

Just a few things I've learned:

* Halloween actually did not orginate as a Satanic festival, but rather was Celtic in nature. Celts were pagans, not Satanists. Pagans are people who believe in more than one god -they did not worship the devil or any god of death on Halloween. Satanists worship Satan or the devil.

* Our modern celebration of Halloween is a very distant descendant of the ancient Celtic fire festival called Samhain. Many followers of various pagan religions, such as Druids and Wiccans observe Samhain as a religious festival -- a memorial day for their dead friends. It is a time of ridding oneself of peronal weakness, feasting, joyful celebration and communing with the spirits of the dead.

* In 835 A.D. Pope Gregory the IV decided to move the practice of All Saints' Day to November First (possibly done to correspond to the Celtic practice of Samhain). The Mass said on this day was called Allhallowmas ("the mass of all the holy ones") The evening before All Saint's Day was called All Hallow e'en ("the evening of all the holy ones") The name Halloween is derived from All Saints Day.

The above was taken from the most thoroughly written article on Halloween I've ever come across. If you have some time, I would highly recommend reading it. There are so many more interesting, helpful, and clarifying facts and thoughts. In reading it again for this post, I feel more comfortable with our response as a family to Halloween. We carve a pumpkin, pass out candy and the kids dress in an appropriate costume and go trick or treating. As I have been writing this, I realized that it might be good for us to discuss it more as a family so that our children know more about it and why we do or don't do certain things.

Thoughts/Opinions:

* It's important to make sure that the information we have is accurate.

* It is also important to think about how we as believers are going to handle Halloween. It is not going to go away.

* We can choose to redeem it for Christ and celebrate God's victory over darkness and evil.

* There is no place for the "darker side" of Halloween in the Christian community.

* There is also a place for harmless fun at this time of year (i.e. carving a pumpkin, dressing up in appropriate costumes, attending a Harvest festival etc.)

* As Christians, I believe that we should be informed and prayerful about our own decision and share our views with others if appropriate.

* We should not force our opinions and choices on others -- or judge or be critical of them for the decisions they make.

These are just my thoughts and opinions. What about yours? How do you feel about Halloween? What traditions do you have at this time of year?

Cherishing Every Moment

I know you've probably heard from moms whose children are older than yours that time goes by so quickly, but I want to remind all of us of that again. I can't believe that my son is already eight and my daughter almost seven. It doesn't seem like that long ago they were babies. Unfortunately I don't have the best memory and can't recall a lot of when they were younger. There are definitely memories that are etched forever in my mind and heart. Pictures and videos have helped too. I'm sure you have also experienced how quickly time flies as well. I've noticed this year it's going by even faster now that they're both in school full-time. With school, homework and activities we don't have much unscheduled time during the week. I miss my children. I have loved every season, but wished it hadn't gone by so fast.

Ever since I can remember, I've really tried to cherish the moment and the stage they were in at the time. I didn't realize how much I would miss them when they're in school, how I would long for the time when the days were our own to do with what we wanted. It's not as physically exhausting now that they're sleeping through the night and more independent, and yes, I have a little more time to myself. But honestly, I would trade all that in a heart beat to do it all over again! :) Don't get me wrong, I am enjoying this season and stage of their life tremendously. I love their individual personalities and how we relate with each other. I love sharing their activities with them and volunteering in their class. It's just that they're growing up so quickly! We also don't know how long we're going to have with them. Life is precious; each day is a gift! Let's cherish every moment, every season, every stage and soak it in. Don't focus on "when...they can crawl, walk, talk, etc." Just enjoy where they're at and make the most of it! One thing that will help you do this is being present in the moment. Try not to think about or do something else or worry about tomorrow. Remember when you're spending time with your children to give them your full and complete attention and not miss the moment.

I found a beautiful song called Cherish Every Moment by David Austin. You can click on the link and hear part of the song. Parents, let's cherish the gifts God has given us; let us make the most of every opportunity we have with them. (Ephesians 5:16)

My son's answer to prayer

My son Nathan wrote about his answer to prayer for his 1st grade writing assignment last year so instead of me trying to explain to you what happened I asked for his permission to share what he wrote.

"Once in my lego catalog I saw a cool Star Wars lego set. I really wanted it. It could even open and close. It cost eighty-one dollars. I prayed for twelve days for the lego set. Then I went to my dad's family's cabin. I played and had fun. One thing we did while we were there was go on a walk. On our walk about half way to the coffee shop where we were going I found seventy dollars! I had five dollars in spending money. We also recycled cans for money. So when we got home, we went to recycle our cans. When we did, I got around seven dollars which was the right amount of money to get the lego set! My mom took me to the store when we got home from the cabin and I bought the Star Wars lego set!" Side note: He thanked God very much for His answer!

God's answer could have been no, but he chose to answer with a very concrete "yes!" Nathan ended up within a dollar of what he needed to purchase the lego set. My son is a very logical thinker. He needs proof and explanations about everything. I believe God may have chosen to answer Nathan with a yes because he knows and loves my son and wanted to give him proof that He is real and answers prayers! He has written about this and shared it with both his first and second grade class (we haven't received his paper back yet from this year). His sister wrote about it in her first grade class. This experience has greatly impacted Nathan and Rachel's faith and been a testimony to those Nathan has told.

Do you have a story of an answer to prayer you would be willing to share? What do you say to your children when the answer to their prayer is no?

Different Types of Prayer

There are many different types of prayer we can model and pray with our children. Jesus modeled for us how to pray with The Lord's Prayer. It covers so many aspects of prayer: praising and adoring, petitioning, confessing. One thing that also stands out to me about this prayer is the reminder to us that ultimately we need to trust God with our lives and trust His answer to our prayers. Children should learn how to pray and include the different aspects, but they must also learn that although God hears all our earnest prayers, He may not answer them according to our request or supplication. We can ask God for whatever we desire, but ultimately we should turn everything over to Him praying for His will to be done on earth as it is in heaven. God answers every prayer according to His best plan for our lives. Sometimes the answer is yes, sometimes it is no, and sometimes it is wait on me. One of the promises that I hold on to when I may not understand why His answer is "no" or "wait" is Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."


Along with the Lord's Prayer there are other prayers such as Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep that our children can memorize. There are specific types of prayers for specific times such as before meals when we we thank God for our food. In addition there are ways to help you and your child remember to include certain things in your prayers. The Five Finger Prayer for Children, where each finger on the hand represents someone else to lift up in prayer. ACTS, where each letter stands for something to pray. A -- Adoration (expressing why God is great), C -- Confession (confessing your sins), T-- Thanksgiving (thanking God for blessings and answered prayers) S -- Supplication (bringing your requests for yourself and others to God). A way to remember to pray outside of your family is to have something different to pray for every day. For example: Monday: Church, Pastor and his family; Tuesday: Those who you are reaching out to as a family; Wednesday: World (Leaders, Hurting, etc); Thursday: Extended Family; Friday: Friends and Unsaved. Here is another resource I found on Prayer. I know there are many other ideas for prayer out there. Do you have any other suggestions or examples you could share with us? Any thoughts, ideas etc. are greatly appreciated by all!


Since many of you subscribe to receive an email and don't go directly to the website, I wanted to let you know that there are more resources on the website now. In particular there is some information about a couple of parenting seminars you might be interested in attending. There is now also a place at the end of each post where you can email the post to someone if you wanted. If you have any other resources you feel might be helpful to other parents, I would love it if you would share them with me so that I can put it up on the website. Thank you. It is my prayer that we can continue to encourage and support each other as fellow parents. May God bless you as you parent your precious children!

Praying with Your Children

How do we help our children develop their own personal relationship with God -- help them to truly connect on their own with their heavenly Father? One way we can encourage and support this is by praying with them and teaching them how to pray. I don't know a better way to help their faith increase than for them to see tangible answers to prayer. I try to pray often with Nathan and Rachel. We pray before school about their day, for their teachers and classmates, for any tests they may have or anything concerning them. If we see or know of someone hurting, we pray for them. When we hear an ambulance, we try and say a prayer. For answered prayers or blessings, we stop and give thanks to God. We also pray when we sin asking God for forgiveness. At meals and bedtime we regularly pray as well. It has been my hope that my children will see that we can pray to God anytime about anything and that they will get in the habit of praying on their own. My heart is filled with joy when I see my son or daughter suggest that we pray for someone who is sick or when I see them asking God to help them find something they've lost. These are short, simple yet heartfelt prayers.

I also want them to be able to have longer conversations on their own with God. When we pray together, I try to model this type of sincere, heartfelt prayer. I use simple words and talk to Him in a natural and comfortable way. As they grow in their relationship with God and see Him keeping His promises and answering their prayers, I pray that they too will be able to open their heart to God and pray longer, more concentrated prayers. My heart's desire is that they would automatically turn to Him with requests, concerns and praises.

On the Family Life website I found an interesting fact: Our church surveys indicate that 75 percent of parents pray for their children, and only 35 percent pray with their children. Let's increase this percentage of parents that pray with their children!

Wednesday I'll be sharing different types of prayers we can be praying with our children. On Friday I have a special story to share with you about my son who had a very specific answer to prayer. Do you have any thoughts, suggestions or specific stories about praying with your children you would like to share? I challenge you to pray with your children every day this week (and not just at bedtime or at meals :))

Making Your Spouse a Priority

This week's posts have dealt with loving your spouse. It is so important that we continue to keep our spouse our number one priority (other than our relationship with God) even after we have children. Having a strong, healthy relationship with your husband/wife will help you to parent effectively. Yes, our newborns and little children are dependent on us a great deal and we need to meet their needs, but we must also not neglect the needs of our spouse. I remember when I had a newborn and 17 month old. It felt at times that all I could do was just meet their needs. I wanted my hubby to know, though, that his needs mattered to me. I let him know how I was feeling and made a list of all the household responsibilities. Then I asked him to give me a prioritized list. I would try to take care of our children and get as much done on the list as I could in the order that he would like to see them get done. The top two things on his list were 1) have dinner ready for him when he gets home and 2) have the kids bathed. If I could only accomplish two things that day, those were the two I made sure to do. My husband's love language is "acts of service" I was trying to love him the best way I knew how. I was letting him know that what he desired was important to me and that I would try my best to see that it gets done. As my children have gotten older, they are not as dependent on me, but life has gotten busier with school, homework, activities. It's easy to get so involved with your children that you don't have much time or energy left over for your spouse. In order to make sure that does not happen, we have made "date nights" a regular occurence. We both really look forward to our time alone together. I truly believe that has greatly contributed to keeping our marriage strong. I thought I would share some specific ideas on ways to show your spouse you love them. Spend time with them doing what they enjoy doing. Tell them you love and appreciate them every day and mean it. Give them a hug and kiss in front of your kids. Ask and listen to what their needs are and try to meet them. Know and support their hobbies and interests. Give them the "night off" just because. Plan a special date with them. Take care of yourself for your spouse (health, appearance etc.) Find out what their love language is and seek to love them in that way. Speak highly of them to others. These are just a few ideas. I would love to hear more ideas from you. :) How do you (or do you) make your spouse a priority? Any thoughts, reflections or suggestions are appreciated! Let's be purposeful and passionate in loving our spouse!

Roles of Husband and Wife

There were some great comments from the last post -- much to think about and reflect on regarding loving our spouse. (Side note: For those single parents who read this remember that God is there with you helping you parent. Invest in time with Him and He will help give you what you need to parent well :)) Knowing that having a strong foundation is key to parenting well as a couple, let's explore the husband/wife relationship further! One of the best things Tyler and I ever did for us as a couple was to take a Biblical Portrait of Marriage class when we were first married. The class discussed what it truly meant to leave your parents and cleave to your spouse. It also defined the role and and responsibility of both the husband and the wife. The husband's role is leader; he is the head in marriage (Genesis 2:15-18; Ephesians 5:22-24). His responsibility is to love his wife (Ephesians 5:25-33) The wife's role is helper (Genesis 2:18; Genesis 1:26-27; 2:21; 1 Cor. 11:3, 8-9, 11-12) Her responsibility is to submit to her husband (Col. 3:18, Eph. 5:22-24, 1 Peter 3:1-4) This works really well when both the husband and wife are fulfilling their roles and responsibilities. It will be easier for a husband to lead if a wife submits. It will be easier for a wife to submit if a husband is loving her. Leading is made easier if you have a good helper. They are all connected. Even if your spouse is not fulfilling their role and responsibilities, however, you should still seek to fulfill yours. I've heard and seen how when one spouse consistently does their part the other responds.

Being a helpmate and submitting is not always easy for me. Fortunately my husband and I agree on most things, but there have been times when we don't and a decision has had to be made. If we didn't have guidelines, what would we do? Would we decide based on who was more forceful?! I remember when we moved here 7 years ago we both had different opinions as to which type of house we should buy. We were ready to make an offer on a house I liked best (older, but bigger). There was another house that my realtor found just as we were about to make an offer on the other one; it was the type of house my husband preferred (newer, but smaller). We knew if we made the offer on this one they probably would accept. I was really struggling with how to handle this especially since I had gotten my hopes up with the first one. I prayed about it. While I was praying, I distinctly remember feeling a sense of peace. I felt like God spoke to my heart reminding me that the house is not what's most important. What was most important is that I submit to my husband. I was so thankful for the clear answer to prayer. I called Tyler and told him what had happened and that whatever he decided regarding the house purchase I would support. He appreciated me letting him lead and the support I had given him so much so that he said he would fast and pray that day to ask God to help him make the right decision. :) Well, we ended up purchasing the smaller, newer house and I must say that I am so thankful that we are here and not in the larger, older one. I can honestly tell you now that this is the best house for us! I hope that story is an encouragement to you. It's still tough to submit at times -- especially when it's regarding our children. His parenting-style is a little less structured and laid back than mine. I know and trust in God's promises, though. I know He desires the best for me and you and for our families and that His ways are best! Do you have anything to add? Is your role/responsibility difficult for you? Have you discovered anything that helps you?

Foster Your Relationship with Your Spouse

One of the greatest ways a mother or father can love her/his children is to love their spouse. Providing a solid, healthy foundation where both parents really love each other will help in training your children up in the way they should go. If you model for them the type of love God desires for husband and wives to have for each other, they will better understand the love that God has for them too. There are a number of passages that explain the type of love spouses should have toward one another. A couple of them include: Ephesians 5: 22-33 and 1 Cor. 13: 4-8a. Husbands are called to love their wives as Christ loves the church. Wives are called to repect and submit to their husbands. Love is defined in 1 Cor. 13. as being kind, not rude, not self-seeking, keeping no record of wrong etc.

Do we really love our spouse with the kind of love God talks about in His word? I know I struggle with putting my husband's needs ahead of my own. My thoughts can center on whether or not something is fair, whether it is his turn to do something and whether my needs are being met. I know this is not good thinking and I don't want to be focusing on this. How can we get away from this type of thinking and have the type of love for our spouse that God would like us to have? One of the first things we can do is pray for God to give us this type of love. Praying for our spouse as well softens our heart to him/her. Another idea would be to try and give without expecting anything in return. If you don't already know their Love Language (words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, gifts, physcial touch), discover what it is and seek to love him/her in that way. My husband's love language is acts of service. If I run errands for him, have the house picked up and dinner on the table when he gets home, he really feels and knows that I love him. Here is a Love Language quiz I found.

My husband and I saw the movie Fireproof this past weekend! To see the trailer click on Watch Trailer up above. I truly think it is a MUST SEE for all married couples. It is my new favorite movie. Both my husband and I really enjoyed and benefitted from watching it. I believe it will inspire you to love your husband or wife the way God desires you to love them. Have you seen the movie? What are your thoughts? Do you struggle with loving your spouse as you should? Is there anything that helps you to love him/her better? Sharing comments on the website is an encouragement to me and I know to others as well. It helps us encourage, learn and grow together! If you have a moment, please write a comment. (There are some new things on the PPP website that you can check out as well)

Umbrella of Protection

Last post I discussed the need for children to honor and obey their parents. Why do children need to do this? We know that God commands it in His word and out of love for Him we seek to obey it knowing, too, that it is in our children's best interest! God has a clear reason behind this command. He knew (and promised) that if children obeyed and honored their parents, their lives would be better and longer than it would have been if they didn't. Ephesians 6:2-3 2"Honor your father and mother"—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3"that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth."

How does this work? If children obey and honor their parents, this respectful attitude should more easily carry over into other authority in their lives -- God, their teachers, their future employers, government etc. If children listen to and obey their parents, they won't make decisions contrary to their parents' instructions that could shorten their life. For example, young ones won't stick their finger in an electrical socket, older ones won't get in the car with someone who has been drinking. By obeying God's command to obey their parents, there is an umbrella of protection. As long as we remain under God-given authority, nothing can happen to us that God does not design for our ultimate good and His ultimate glory. But the moment we challenge and disobey our authority, we move out from underneath that umbrella of protection and expose ourselves to the destructive forces of satan. For those of you who would like to read more about this, Bill Gothard's article explains more about the umbrella of protection. You could explain this concept to your children by using a real umbrella and socks. Have your children hold the umbrella over them and throw socks at him/her. This demonstrates God's umbrella of protection when we are obeying Him and our parents. Now have your children put the umbrella down and throw socks at them. This demonstrates what can happen to them when they disobey and are no longer under the umbrella of protection.

I pray that with a heart motivated out of love for our God and love for our children, we will strive to enforce this commandment in our home! What are your thoughts? Do you have any examples to share, or questions to ask?

Honoring and Obeying Parents

Honor: To regard or treat with esteem, or respect; to revere; to treat with deference and submission

"No, Mommy!" "I don't want to!" We see and hear more and more of this and see less and less honor in today's society. I often see children speaking and acting disrespectfully to their parents. My children are guilty of this as well. Children are commanded to honor their parents as mentioned in the previous post and passage. Another passage in the Bible which says almost the same thing, but also mentions obeying is Ephesians 6:1 "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother—which is the first commandment with a promise— that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth." There is a difference between obeying parents and honoring parents. Obedience is outward, honor is inward. Obedience is an action, honor is an attitude. It is possible to obey your parents without honoring your parents, but you cannot honor your parents without obedience. God commands both. Pray with your children asking God to help them obey and honor their parents. Encourage your child to pray this on his/her own too!

As parents, we must also do our part to help insure that our children honor and obey us; we are commanded to train them up in this way. As with everything we ask of our children, we should be good examples of and model it with our own behavior. We should walk our talk. Do you honor your spouse and others? Think about how you speak to them -- is it with respect? Another thing that will help our children to honor and respect us is if our behavior and actions warrant respect and if we show respect to our children. For example: do we spend good, quality time with our children, are we consistent with our training, do we really listen to them, do we follow through with what we say we're going to do. In addition, if we expect true obedience it will also help our children honor us. True obedience means that the children obey without challenge, without excuse, and without delay. Shepherding a Child's Heart

Fellow parents, all of the things I have mentioned above I struggle with and am working on with my children. Although I try to be consistent and expect true obedience, it definitely doesn't always happen --it's not easy. These are tools and techniques we can strive to do with God's help, always remembering that we as parents are covered by God's grace. A prayer I often pray: "Save them from me (my sins, my mistakes, shortcomings etc.) and Grace them with You" Don't try and parent on your own; ask God for help. He is right there with you. He loves your children even more than you do! We (fellow moms and dads) are here to help and encourage each other too!

Next post we'll talk about the "why" of honor and obeying parents. In the meantime, we would love it if you would share your ideas, thoughts, and/or suggestions. Have you struggled with getting your children to honor and obey you? Is there anything you do that you feel helps your children to respect and obey you?