Family Fun

Author: Kim Ashbaugh

Research and advertisements tell us that teens from families who eat dinner together regularly get better grades, don't take drugs, etc. My sixteen-year-old daughter and I were watching one of these commercials the other day, and we were laughing..."Is it the food?" I jokingly asked her. "No," she replied more seriously, "It's the overall way those families spend time together." I marveled at her maturity. Eating together often doesn't necessarily guarantee your child will perform well in school or stay out of trouble. Alternatively, skipping a family meal won't propel him to juvenile detention. But the families who make a point to not only eat together, but to spend time together often, are the ones whose kids do have a better chance at making the right choices.First and foremost, if your teen wants to chat with you, by all means, drop everything and talk! You are in the midst of a great blessing. Many nights when I go in to say goodnight to my daughters, all I can think of is getting to bed. They, however, often have a different plan! "Stay and talk," they say, even if they can't think of a specific think to talk about. Often, I bring up the subjects and we discuss things such as cute boys and clothes, as well as more serious ideas such as where they will go to college and what they will do afterward. You are becoming friend and confidante when you allow your teen time to share, discuss, and laugh with you.Family Fun is something we make time for, also. With all the demands of our lives, as well as our teens' different schedules, this can be difficult. However, having grown up with a "Family Night" every week, I implemented this into my family's life. Popcorn is popped, sodas are permitted on that night, and we play a game or watch a family-friendly movie together. Making this a routine every week is the most important thing. When I was growing up, my Dad allowed each of us girls a turn to choose the activity and the snack for Family Night. It was fun to go to the store with him and choose the bag of chips and bottle of soda, or cookies and ice cream, or whatever struck our fancy. After dinner, we all got into our pajamas and began our time together. No one was texting or checking e-mail. (Ok, I know, we didn't have those things in those days! But no one was on the phone or otherwise distracted.) Our parents did not bring "something to work on" into the living room. They simply participated in the activity with us. Family Nights began when I was around 2 or 3 and I attended them through college, whenever I was home. It was one more way to express our identity as a family unit.One more thing I want to leave you with is to make sure you just have fun as a family. Sure, the leaves may need to be raked or the lawn mowed on Saturday, but how about a picnic in the park instead? Better yet, everyone can do the yard work together and then go out for an ice cream. Moms and daughters can do pedicures together while watching a "chick flick." Dads and sons can play video games. The point is to make sure that while all the disciplining and training and molding of your children is going on, you are having fun together. Memories made together provide for a lifetime of sharing and closeness.

Next week's Author: Jaime DeCarlo