Grandparent Inspired Parenting

Author: Sue Jones
Sue is a pastor’s wife, mother and grandmother. She lives in Tulare, CA with her husband Rich and three dogs. She has two married children so that makes four adult children and one brand new baby granddaughter. Sue has been involved in children’s ministry for over 25 years and holds children’s ministry as one her most important acts of service to the Lord. Sue also home schooled both her children through high school. Their church will soon complete their brand new building which started as a church plant in Tulare, CA in 1993.

In my previous article, Celebrating Friendship, written with my best friend Lynn Winters, we wrote about the joy of lasting friendships established upon praying the Word of God. In that article it was mentioned that God had blessed us both with the privilege of being grandparents.

I have been asked by members of the congregation my husband pastors and by family members, what is the difference I have noticed between parenting and grand parenting?
It goes without saying that you can spoil your grandchildren and then send them home providing opportunities for your grown children to discover more about parenting and the necessity of prayer! (Once a mother always a mother!) No, there is something much simpler and more profound: dedicated time.

When my children were young I resolved to enter their world and gave myself to them through game playing, schooling, church, friends, etc. Although I found this very enjoyable, I still had to limit myself because of all the other ‘responsibilities’ to which I was engaged: wife, teacher, bill payer, homemaker, counselor to other mothers, etc. Even while engaged in interaction with my children these other ‘hats’ I wore continually called out to me.

I have noticed with grand parenting that this ‘tension’ is not so prevalent. I still have my responsibilities of wife, employment, bill payer, homemaker, counselor to other mothers, etc., but when I have the opportunity to be with my granddaughter, all those other roles fade into the background. She receives my focused attention. Grand parenting has impacted my husband as well. If our granddaughter is over and I don’t have dinner made, his attitude is so what. Time with our granddaughter takes precedence over our other activities. We will re-arrange our schedules so that we can be available for her.

I realize that we are able to provide this focused attention because she is not in our care full-time. So what we are able to do as grandparents is not realistic for parents. Yet I believe that there is one area that can be duplicated: focused attention. I believe that every parent can schedule focused time with their child where all other responsibilities can be relegated to the background. No clock watching, no task expectations, no operation on reserve energy. This is purposeful focused attention planned and prayed for. Block it out if need be on your calendar. Leave your house if necessary. Let nothing keep you from providing that unrushed focused time together.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 states: For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven (ESV) Let’s take advantage of the season of our children’s lives that the Lord has provided. Don’t wait until you are a grandparent to enjoy focused time.

Next Week's Author: Lynn Winters