Daddy/Daughter Dates

Writer: Kim Ashbaugh

I want to write about a subject dear to my heart...Daddy/daughter dates. I am writing to you from the perspective of the daughter.
One of the best things my Dad ever thought of was the "Daddy/daughter date." I don't know where he got the idea...I didn't know anyone else when I was growing up who did that. My Dad had three daughters so he got to go on many "dates." On a typical date, whichever daughter's turn it was would climb into the passenger seat of our Dad's Ford pickup and buckle up as he started the motor. He'd usually remark, "Why don't you open the glove compartment and see if there's something in there?" There was always an assortment of chocolate bars, including his favorite and ours. We would ride along, munching on our candy bars, to our first destination. I loved horseback riding, so we did that sometimes, and other times went bowling, to a movie, or even Six Flags Marine World. At the end of the date, we went out to dinner. I love lobster, so my dad and I would always end up at a nice restaurant, share an entire loaf of sourdough bread, eat our lobster dinners, and order dessert. He wouldn't let us look at the prices when ordering...we were to get whatever we wanted. (I think he enjoyed the dinners better on my dates...my sister Tammy preferred to eat at Burger King!) He would ask us questions about how things were going and what we'd been up to. He would listen when we answered.
It may seem like a lot of effort for a man to give up his entire Saturday for his daughter. My dad thought it was worth it. He never had a lot of money, either, and I know these dates were not in his budget...yet he made room for them. Going out on a date with Dad made us feel important to him and valued. Experts today tell us this is what will keep a girl from going astray. I don't know if my Dad was thinking of that at the time; I doubt he was. He was only trying to be a good Dad to his girls the way he knew how. And today, even many years later, I love him for it.

Winner of the First Giveaway at PPP is ....

Just a Girl! Congratulations! Thanks again to Liz for a wonderful post and giveaway! :) Thank you to all of you who commented too! I know it is an encouragement to those who write for and read PPP!

May God bless each of you and may you be passionate and purposeful in your parenting!

Teaching Virtues and PPP's First Giveaway

Our guest contributor is Liz. I'm a wife to Mark (married 15 years), mother to 6 year old Riley and 4 year old Katie. We are all joyously expecting Baby #3 this summer. While I am mostly a stay-at-home mom I enjoy getting away for Beth Moore Bible Studies and scrapbooking! Before we were blessed with children I was a Labor and Delivery nurse for ten years and then moved on to becoming a midwife. I have a very part-time gig as a nurse-midwife and it's been my honor to catch precious babies for the past 9 years!

Parenting is a daunting task. It's both completely rewarding and, at times (most times in my home), very challenging. I take this responsibility very seriously and I consider "heart" issues to be among the biggest challenges that we face as a family. Growing up in a Christian family I learned early what "good" behavior looked like and how to "act" appropriately. However, that did not always jive with what was going on inside my heart. I may have showed up to youth group and church faithfully, said and did all the right "good" girl things that I should have done while inside I wasn't very "good". As long as I was polite, did well in school and had all the right kind of friends I was doing fine as far as all the adults in my life were concerned. Everyone thought that I was "good". When, in fact, I wasn't very good. But I did my best to present the "good" side at all times.
While I do want my children to be polite, being polite just isn't enough. When my own children misbehave (which is often) I try to figure out what is the root cause. Is it selfishness? Is it deceit? What is going on inside their heart to cause them to act the way they do?
When faced with our God given assignments of shepherding our children's hearts we, as parents, are lucky to have a wide selection of resources at our fingertips. And while I am so grateful for all of them and have read many parenting books (Christian and secular) I have decided that what works best for my children is to simply address the root cause by telling them a story. My children might know the Scripture verse "Love one another" but they seem to have an easier time of applying the concepts when presented with stories that address that particular behavior. Last year, while getting to know a varied and diverse homeschooling crowd, a wonderful friend turned me onto the Christopher Churchmouse series of books. These books, by Barbara Davoll, seek to address certain behaviors and virtues in a simple and teachable manner. They are aimed at ages 4-8.

One thing that I especially love about this series (aside from the adorable illustrations) is the list of discussion questions at the end of the story. It's a way to check your child's comprehension of the story as well as the main character-building issue.

Here are just some of the books from this precious classic series:

A Flood of Friends ( about friendship and hospitality)
Saved by the Bell (about anger)
A Pack of Lies (about lying)
The Potluck Supper (about greed)
A Load of Trouble (about deceit)
A Sticky Mystery (jealousy)
A Tattletale Tongue (jumping to conclusions)

And here is the best part! A GIVEAWAY!! I believe this is a first on PPP and I am happy to offer one Christopher Churchmouse book entitled "A Sticky Mystery". All you need to do to participate is to leave a comment. The lucky winner will be chosen this Friday January 23rd at 6pm Pacific time and announced on this blog as well as my own blog http://www.mainlyamidwife.blogspot.com/ Happy Commenting and thanks for reading today!

Doing Great Things for God

Guest Writer is Wendy Young. (My apologies to Wendy. I've had this post for a while, but am just now posting it)

As I write these very words, my 7th grade son is embarking on a 3 day trip to San Francisco with his Jr. High class from school. It's going to be an exciting trip - a ferry ride to the city, a 2-day scavenger hunt racing all over the magnificent city using only public transportation . They'll be ice skating in the park, dressing up, eating at a fancy restaurant and even taking in the Phantom of the Opera. But I praise God for his teachers. They made an important choice to have the students spend time serving at a shelter.

I have terrific kids--one son and one daughter. They fill our lives with joy and love like I never thought possible. But I must confess: my adorable children can be selfish sometimes. It hurts to say it, but it's true. I know we're born with a sin nature, but my husband and I are partly to blame. In our quest to be the very best parents possible, we've spent countless hours, not to mention dollars, signing our kids up for baseball, basketball, soccer, gymnastics, music lessons, art classes, summer camps, girls scouts, Bible clubs, not to mention all the play dates and birthday parties. If we'd been keeping track, there haven't been many free Saturdays (or any other days) since our kids were old enough to participate.

My husband and I have the best intentions when it comes to parenting. If you ask us what we want most for our kids, it would definitely be to grow into the young man and woman that God wants them to be. However, lately God's been giving me the painful gift of clarity; showing me that maybe our desire to give our kids every opportunity to grow their own skills and talents wasn't quite what He had in mind. My son and I were having a discussion; one we'd been having more and more frequently lately. I was reminding him that God wants him to love on his sister, not just tolerate her. Mark 12:30-31 spells it out--"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these." Sounds so easy; yet not always easy to do. That night, I realized that we hadn't been providing our kids with as many opportunities to serve others as we had been giving them opportunities to serve themselves.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for kids experiencing new things and developing their God-given talents. We all want our kids to do "great" things. We just need a reminder that God can use our children to accomplish far greater and longer-lasting things than we could ever dream for them. In Mark 10:43 Jesus says, "...whoever wants to become great among you must be our servant, and whoever wants to be first must be a slave of all." My quest this next year is to prayerfully consider each and every activity that my kids are involved in. I'm going to be asking God to show us balance; to help us make room in our lives to love and serve others.

So, I'll be praying for my son while he's in San Francisco. I'll be praying that he has a blast with his friends and enjoys all those great activities. But I'll also be praying that he'll be able to see and feel the greatest joy during his time serving others.

Who Am I?

Author: Melanie Robbins

I am struggling as a parent right now. I knew it was my turn to write for PPP. With all that is going on right now I thought - 'who am I to share anything to try to encourage or help equip?' I didn’t know what I had to share so I thought I would share with you my heart and my struggles.

Parenting has definitely gotten a lot harder for me as the kids have gotten older. When they were younger it was more physically demanding with meeting their needs: feeding, changing their diapers, bathing etc., but now it is much more psychologically demanding. It came more naturally for me to love, nurture and care for their physical needs than it is now to make countless decisions regarding their training and disciplining (and now education) throughout the day.

My heart’s true desire is to “train them up in the way they should go,” and I know the principles behind this, but HOW to go about it is not as clear. My two children are different, they have different struggles and they respond differently. When they are not obeying, showing respect, or being kind with their words, how should I respond? What are the words or actions I should take? What if they continued to struggle with the same thing? How do I not just deal with their behavior, but reach their heart? When my children are not getting along, I need patience, wisdom and discernment when I respond.

Overall I have truly enjoyed and feel we have benefited as a family from homeschooling, but this past week has been difficult. I work hard to prepare for school and when my children question or argue or complain or show disrespect, I am discouraged and disheartened. When you add them not getting along on top of that, I have felt at my wit’s end. I have to keep in mind that we were just coming back from 2 weeks of vacation and Daddy was away on business, but I confess that I started doubting this week. I started wondering whether or not I could do a good job of parenting and teaching them. I questioned the job I had done thus far in training them reaching their heart. I also started seeing more and more things in myself that needed changing.

As their psychological and emotional needs have increased and as my children have started acting up more, I have struggled more with being harsh and getting angry. I get exasperated and I believe that my children do as well. I worry how my sin will impact them. I know that I need to model for them what I want for them, what God desires for them. I want to be able to be patient, respond calmly and use wisdom no matter what the situation – it just doesn’t always happen. I am pleading and asking God to help me.

I continue to ask His forgiveness and ask for help and trust in these promises to name a few:

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." (2 Cor. 12:9)

"I can do everything through him who gives me strength." (Philippians 4:13)

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." (Prov. 3:5-6)

"If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him." (James 1:5)

“being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Phil. 1:6)

Even though I am struggling as a parent, I know that God always loves me and my children and that He desires the best for us. Knowing this gives me comfort and confidence as I continue to strive with His help to be the parent He desires me to be.

Who Am i?

I am struggling as a parent right now. I knew it was my turn to write for PPP. With all that is going on right now I thought 'who am I to share anything to try to encourage or help equip?' I didn’t know what I had to share so I thought I would share with you my heart and my struggles.

Parenting has definitely gotten a lot harder for me as the kids have gotten older. When they were younger it was more physically demanding with meeting their needs: feeding, changing their diapers, bathing etc., but now it is much more psychologically demanding. It came more naturally for me to love, nurture, and care for their physical needs than it is now to make countless decisions regarding their training and disciplining (and now education) throughout the day.

My heart’s true desire is to “train them up in the way they should go,” and I know the principles behind this, but HOW to go about it is not as clear. My two children are different; they have different struggles and they respond differently. When they are not obeying, showing respect, or being kind with their words, how should I respond? What are the words or actions I should take? What if they continued to struggle with the same thing? How do I not just deal with their behavior, but reach their heart? When my children are not getting along, I need patience, wisdom and discernment when I respond.

Overall I have truly enjoyed and feel we have benefitted as a family from homeschooling, but this past week has been difficult. I work hard to prepare for school and when my children question or argue or complain or show disrespect, I am discouraged and disheartened. When you add them at times not getting along on top of that, I have felt at my wit’s end. I have to keep in mind that we were just coming back from two weeks of vacation and Daddy was away on business, but I confess that I started doubting this week. I started wondering whether or not I could do a good job of parenting and teaching them. I questioned the job I had done thus far in training them reaching their heart. I also started seeing more and more things in myself that needed changing,

As their psychological and emotional needs have increased and as my children have started testing the limits and acting up more, I have struggled more with being harsh and getting angry. I get exasperated and I believe that my children do as well. I worry how my sin will impact them. I know that I need to model for them what I want for them, what God desires for them. I want to be able to be patient, respond calmly and use wisdom no matter what the situation – it just doesn’t always happen. I am pleading and asking God to help me.

I continue to ask His forgiveness and ask for help and trust in these promises to name a few:

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. (2 Cor. 12:9)

"I can do everything through Him who gives me strength." (Philippians 4:13)

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." (Prov. 3:5-6)

"If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him." (James 1:5)

“being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Phil. 1:6)

Even though I am struggling as a parent, I know that God always loves me and my children and desires the best for us. Knowing this gives me confidence and comfort as I continue to strive with His help to be the parent He desires me to be.

Who Am I?

Author: Melanie Robbins

I have to confess that I am struggling as a parent right now. I knew it was my turn to write for PPP. With all that is going on right now I thought - 'who am I to share anything to try to encourage or help equip?' I didn’t know what I had to share so I thought I would share with you my heart and my struggles.

Parenting has definitely gotten a lot harder for me as the kids have gotten older. When they were younger it was more physically demanding with meeting their needs: feeding, changing their diapers, bathing etc., but now it is much more psychologically demanding. It came more naturally for me to love, nurture and care for their physical needs than it is now to make countless decisions regarding their training and disciplining (and now education) throughout the day.

My heart’s true desire is to “train them up in the way they should go,” and I know the principles behind this, but HOW to go about it is not as clear. My two children are different, they have different struggles and they respond differently. When they are not obeying, showing respect, or being kind with their words, how should I respond? What are the words or actions I should take? What if they continued to struggle with the same thing? How do I not just deal with their behavior, but reach their heart? When my children are not getting along, I need patience, wisdom and discernment when I respond.

Overall I have truly enjoyed and feel we have benefitted as a family from homeschooling, but this past week has been difficult. I work hard to prepare for school and when my children question or argue or complain or show disrespect, I am discouraged and disheartened. When you add them not getting along on top of that, I have felt at my wit’s end. I have to keep in mind that we were just coming back from two weeks of vacation and Daddy was away on business, but I confess that I started doubting this week. I started wondering whether or not I could do a good job of parenting and teaching them. I questioned the job I had done thus far in training them and reaching their heart. I also started seeing more and more things in myself that needed changing.

As their psychological and emotional needs have increased and as my children have started testing the limits and acting up more, I have struggled more with being harsh and getting angry. I get exasperated and I believe that my children do as well. I worry how my sin will impact them. I know that I need to model for them what I want for them, what God desires for them. I want to be able to be patient, respond calmly and use wisdom no matter what the situation – it just doesn’t always happen. I am pleading and asking God to help me.

I continue to ask His forgiveness and ask for help and trust in these promises to name a few:

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. (2 Cor. 12:9)

"I can do everything through him who gives me strength." (Philippians 4:13)

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." (Prov. 3:5-6)

"If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him." (James 1:5)

“being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Phil. 1:6)

Even though I am struggling as a parent right now, I know that God is with me. I know that He loves me and my children and desires the best for us. This gives me comfort and confidence as I continue to love my children and strive with God's help to be the parent He desires for me to be.