Author: Scott Turansky
Dr. Scott Turansky is the co-founder of the National Center for Biblical Parenting. He has written 5 books on parentings and has three video training programs for parents. Scott loves to help parents understand a heart-based approach to parenting.
A bad attitude is a challenge to family life and frustrates many a parent. Furthermore, if children don’t learn how to deal with their attitude, they grow up to be adults with bad attitudes. One way to help children overcome a bad attitude is to take it apart and help them deal with it in smaller pieces.
Children are tempted to have a bad attitude in three prominent areas: when given an instruction, when corrected, and when given a “no” answer. One mom put a sign up in her kitchen listing those three areas with the heading, “Three opportunities for a good attitude.”
Take time to talk about attitude with your children. Discuss the importance and benefits of a good attitude. Help your children understand these three areas and even warn your child when one of them is coming. Coach your children to have a better response.
The next time your child demonstrates a bad attitude, don’t just point out the negative but teach how to respond rightly. When given an instruction, a child might say, “Okay Mom,” in a pleasant tone of voice. When corrected, it would be helpful to say, “I’m sorry.” When receiving a “no” answer, children might say to themselves, “Okay, maybe another time.”
A bad attitude is often a sign of an angry spirit and the groaning, rolled eyes, sarcasm, stomping feet, or disgusted look are all attempts to communicate dissatisfaction with the situation. Gently point out these bad habits and help your children to practice better responses. Be careful of your own harshness in the process and look for ways to break the problem down into manageable pieces.
For more practical ideas on developing honor in your family see our book, “Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes, In You and Your Kids.”
Next Week’s Author: Jaime DeCarlo
I like the idea of the 3 opportunities for good attitude. I already see the eyerolling at times from my 4 year old so these tips will come in handy.
Thank you, Scott, for sharing your wisdom! These are very helpful, practical tips! I've gleaned so much from reading your books and so appreciate you agreeing to contribute to PPP.
Great insight on attitude! I get it in many different ways with two teenagers and two toddlers! I'm going to put that sign up in my kitchen too!
Awesome wisdom! I struggle with my three kids' attitudes constantly and I feel I have tried everything. Apparently not! I cannot wait to apply your ideas. Thank you.
This blog is very timely for my husband and I. My 10 year old has a very bad case of the bad attitude right now. She doesn't like to be told no and seems to feel the slightest bit of injustice! We often feel frustrated because we see it as a heart issue and pray that God will work on that. I really need to get this book. Thank You!