To sin or not to sin, that the question? Giving a Biblical Reproof

Why is it that I am shocked when my children sin. I know they are born with a sin nature, I know that they are inherently sinners, yet I am often surprised by there choice to sin. When our children sin we should not view it as a hopeless tragedy or failure on our part as parents. We need to remember that it would be unnatural for our children not to sin because, after all, they are sinners.

Our job as parents is to train our children’s hearts. We need to address their sin as a heart issue and teach them and train them to overcome their sin with righteousness, or right behavior. The only true way to do this is with the Word of God. The Word of God is the tool to get to their hearts and will bring about the desired change.

Hebrews 4:12
For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.

Isaiah 55:11
So is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
A reproof is verbally expressing to another person how they have violated God’s Word. We can only do that by using the Word of God. We can not use worldly wisdom, lecturing or ranting.

So first we need to know the Word of God. As parents we need to be spending time reading our Bibles and learning what God has to say about how we should live so we can impart that wisdom to our children. As parents we should use every opportunity to point our children to their need for Jesus.

2 Timothy 3:16
All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness,
We need to approach our children’s behavior with a look at their heart and teach them what it looks like to put off evil desires and sin and to be filled with righteousness.

Ephesians 4:22-24
You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

We need to teach our children what a biblical response looks like. Then we need to have them follow through by putting it on. Training our children to put off sin and put on righteousness is training them to respond biblically. We shouldn’t just tell our children what is right but we should have them practice the right behavior. If we only correct negative behavior but don’t train our children in right behavior we will exasperate them and not reach their hearts.

“Biblical Reproof involves correcting wrong behavior by practicing right behavior, with the right attitude, for the right reason, until the right behavior becomes a habit.”

I have recently read a book that has renewed these thoughts for me. “Don’t Make Me Count to Three” is full of practical ways to train and teach our children in righteousness. The author Ginger Plowman gives some great suggestions for Biblical Instruction and Reproof. In fact she has a pamphlet called “Wise Words for Moms” that cost $4. This gives a chart of negative behavior, heart probing questions, biblical reproof (“put off”) and encouragement (“put on”). This covers 22 of the behavioral and heart issues that we need to address with our children. If you have read Shepherding a Child’s Heart but struggle with the “how to” of shepherding than these resources will really help you.

Here is an example of one of the behaviors addressed on “Wise Words for Moms”. We deal with this in our home on a regular basis:
Behavior= Arguing or Complaining
Heart Probing Questions= Is your attitude showing thankfulness and contentment? Rather than complaining, what can you be thankful for in this situation?
Reproof (put off)= “Do everything without complaining and arguing” Philippians 2:14
Encouragement (put on)= Thankfulness. It is God’s will that you be thankful and joyful in all circumstances. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Here is a list of Biblical Virtues that my husband compiled that also may be help you teach with a biblical vocabulary and instruction.

Jennifer has been married to her wonderful husband Kelly for 19 years. Kelly is the Pastor of New Harbor Community Church in Benicia, California. They have 4 wonderful children. Victoria is 17, Blake is 11, Isabel is 8 and Micah is 6. Jennifer has the privilege of being a full time stay at home mom and is home schooling her 3 older children. She has a heart to encourage women as mothers and wives and especially in their relationship with God. She also has a burden for children with special needs and the special needs of their families.

Jennifer Patchin

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