1 Corinthians 15:10 (NIV) — “10 But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect…”
First, I’d just like to say how privileged I feel to be invited to contribute to this blog – I begin my post with Paul’s words from the Book of 1 Corinthians, because they shape the core of my identity – it is by the grace of God that I am who I am. I am NOT a parent – I haven’t “been there and done that” when it comes to raising children. But I am a youth pastor, and more importantly I am someone who has been transformed by God’s grace… and that process is far from over! I have been walking beside middle school and high school students as a paid youth worker for over 7 years, and my hope is to share thoughts and resources with you to help you walk alongside your child as they enter the wild and crazy world that is adolescence. To God be the glory!
SINS OF OMISSION:
“If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.” (James 4:17, NIV)
In these last two weeks, an unbelievable scandal has rocked the nation since it has come to light that Jerry Sandusky, the long-time defensive coordinator of the Penn State football team, has been accused of more than 40 counts of sexual abuse of children. This alone is unfathomable, but the most painful news to bear is that several people, most notably Joe Paterno, head coach of the team for the last 46 years, had been notified years earlier by someone who had seen Sandusky committing one of his terrible acts, yet the police were never notified.
I do not bring up this story lightly, nor do I claim to know everything about what happened in this situation, as the truth of what really occured is still coming to light. And I have several friends who are faithful Penn State alum, so I do not tell this story to drag them through the mud. For years, Joe Paterno has been one of the most respected coaches in the nation, and he just recently became the winningest college head coach in history. He is a devoted family man, someone committed to the ideals of integrity, honesty, fair play, and “success with honor.” Yet in a moment, that legacy has been forever soiled. Why? Not because of anything that he did, but because of something he didn’t do.
Joe Paterno isn’t the only person to commit a sin of omission – we all do. We know the right things that we ought to do, and we don’t do them. Why? Because in our narrow field of vision, the cost is too high. Whether it’s our pride, or the consequences of a decision that we’ve made or someone else has, we are quick to rationalize silence and inaction, choosing to do nothing instead of the right “something.” In our discussions on sin with our children, we place most of our emphasis on not doing the wrong things. But do we place just as much of an emphasis on the sin of NOT doing something that you should? When our discussions on sin focus only on commission and not omission, we end up with children that might avoid doing all the wrong things, but do they do the right things?
As we disciple and walk alongside our children through the tough choices of life, we must teach them to avoid the wrong things; but we need to recognize that our character is truly defined, and our legacy and reputation built, by the times when we do the right thing, even when the cost is great. If you and I want our children to grow into young men and women of God, we must teach them that our character is defined by those moments when we do the right thing, regardless of the consequences they might endure. This is all the more important because of this reality: the painful consequences of doing the right thing now are dwarfed by the consequences of not doing it. We must impress upon our children the necessity of doing what’s right, no matter the cost – one day, their lives (and the lives of others) may depend on it.
KEY: Sin is not just about avoiding the wrong things; it is when we fail to do the right things.
QUESTION FOR DISCUSSION: How can you elevate your discussion of sin with your children to be just as much about resolving to do the right things as much as avoiding the wrong things?
A FEW RESOURCES:
SILENCE IS NOT GOLDEN: http://stickyfaith.org/articles/silence-is-not-golden. This is a GREAT article from the Fuller Youth Institute on the nuts and bolts of having faith conversations at home. They lay out the case for why those are critical, and then offer some practical steps for how those conversations can be had.
THERE’S AN APP FOR THAT: FIGHTER VERSES. If you or your child has an iPod, iPhone, or iPad device, this app is a GREAT way for you and your children to memorize the scriptures. It is actually one part of a whole project by the folks at Desiring God. It is a multiple-year plan for memorizing the scriptures, with a new one each week – you can read the verse, listen to it read out loud, listen to someone sing a song with the verse as the lyrics, set the verse as your device’s background, and much more. It has a the main collection of verses “the Fighter Verses,” along with a separate collection of “foundational verses” for children. I’ve been using this app to memorize the scriptures for the last two months, and I’ve been LOVING it. This could be a great tool for you to memorize scriptures together as a family, and spur on some family faith conversations to discuss what they mean and what the mean for you and your family. It’s worth the $2.99!
for His glory,
max
I can’t tell you how excited I am that you are writing for PPP! You have so much godly wisdom, Max! As you know I could hardly wait for Nathan to be in your youth group and be taught by you. Although you are not a parent, you know teenagers and your know God and Scripture and can offer much to us as parents!
I shared your post with Nathan today and he and I purchased the App for Fighter Verses!
Max, thank you for encouraging parents! I, too, am excited you are writing for PPP – especially since my husband and I are parents to two youth – with three more that will be there one day soon! Thank you for this very important message, for the Godly wisdom you share. Plus, all the techies around here will love this app you mention! Thank you!
What a great post. So glad to have you sharing at PPP, Max. I love this article and the challenge to deal with sin of omission. It can be challenging for all of us to do the right thing when we can avoid doing the wrong thing and still look good. Thank you!