“Do not be conformed any longer to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is; his good, pleasing, and perfect will.” (Romans 12:2)
Last month, the principal of our local middle school approached me and asked if would be interested in coaching an Odyssey of the Mind team. I had no idea what that was, but Mike assured me that it wouldn’t be too bad, and that it would be a good opportunity to be in the lives of some middle school students and be on campus, so I said yes!
Two weeks later, I was sitting in an ALL-DAY training, learning about how to be an Odyssey of the Mind coach. Basically, the program consists of a group of 4-7 students who choose one of five creative thinking problems, and then have about 3 months to come up with their own creative solution, which they then present at a regional competition with teams from the same age group who attempted to solve the same problem. These problems are all “open-ended,” which means that there is a lot of room for individual creativity. Sounds simple enough, right? Well, it’s not – if it was, you wouldn’t need an all-day training to do it! As I sat listening, I saw a number of connections between this program’s aim to stimulate creative thinking in children and our desire to see our children grow to spiritual maturity. Here is the first of two:
NO OUTSIDE ASSISTANCE: This was something that they stressed over and over again throughout the day – the team’s solution has to be solely their product of their own creative thinking; NO ONE else can do any of the work for them. Our problem has to do with building a structure out of balsa wood to hold as much weight as possible. The students can not ask a parent, a teacher, or a friend, or even ME about the best way to tackle this problem – they ask these people to help them with certain skills, but tackling the solution has to be completely their own work. As the coach, I am not there to do the thinking for them – I am there to ask the right questions to teach them to think for themselves.
When it comes to the question of growing in spiritual maturity, things are a little different – solutions to life’s problems don’t come solely from our creative thinking, but from the God who gives wisdom generously to all who ask (James 1:5). And as parents, Christian adults, and disciple-makers, we are called to provide “outside assistance;” to teach diligently about and talk of loving God with all of our heart, soul, and might with our children (Deuteronomy 6:4-8), and to exhort the older men and women to teach the younger (Titus 2:1-8), to give two examples.
But here’s the key: I believe that as our children enter adolescence during the middle school and high school years, the best kind of assistance we can give them is getting them to ask the right questions, which lead to answers that they own instead of secondhand faith. I think this is where the Odyssey can remind us of an important truth – the most important help we can give to our children in the adolescent years is teaching them how to think Christian-ly about all of life. In fact, our “helping” might be hurting if we are teaching our children in such a way that questions are not involved, because questions create ownership. I think that becoming skilled coaches who learn to ask the kind of questions that lead our children to take the truth that they know and apply it to life is vital.
For instance, maybe the subject of cheating comes up in conversation. On the one hand, we can say, “Cheating is a sin – don’t do it. EVER.” Maybe that will suffice for the moment, but that probably won’t stop them from cheating on their taxes in their 20s. On the other hand, we can say, “Hey, why don’t we read 1 Timothy 4:12 (or another scripture that has to do with integrity). What do you think this verse means in its context, and what do you think it might mean to you? Do you think some of this truth might apply to the subject we were talking about? How so?” In so doing, we are creating ownership – by asking the right questions that lead them to answers they own, we are preparing them for a lifetime of faith we when aren’t around to tell them what to think. This can be uncomfortable, as our children sometimes (maybe often, at first) don’t get to the answer we want as quickly as we’d like. But if we want to set them up for a lifetime of vibrant faith, we must guide them in such a way that they learn to handle the word of God personally and apply truth to life themselves.
I think that in this season of gift-giving, one of the most valuable gifts we can give as disciplers of our children is the gift of a mind renewed by Christ, formed by asking the right questions. Next time, I’ll share with you the other learning from my Odyssey of the Spiritual Mind experience. Until then, may you and I live in the tension of looking ahead to our children’s lives as lifelong followers of Jesus, and ask questions in such a way that they can live a lifetime of “testing and approving what God’s will is – his good, pleasing, and perfect will.”
Once again such incredible wisdom, Max! I wholeheartedly agree with and need to implement your key “But here’s the key: I believe that as our children enter adolescence during the middle school and high school years, the best kind of assistance we can give them is getting them to ask the right questions, which lead to answers that they own instead of secondhand faith.” Thanks for the great article!