Posts by jaimedecarlo:
Nothing is Impossible
February 1st, 2012
Author: Jaime DeCarlo
In this post-Christmas season where the miracle of Jesus’ birth may no longer be a focus for many, I cannot help but ponder the amazing miracles God has done in my own life and the lives of some of those closest to me.
My youngest is about to turn three years old. She is what God did after seven years of infertility, numerous medical procedures, hope, heartache and two lost foster children. Doctors finally told us that we could not conceive a child, but God heard my prayers and knew my heart and nothing is impossible with Him. My inconceivable child is a happy, healthy, beautiful little girl who brings great joy to her family every day!
My second youngest is about to be officially adopted. He is one of the foster babies lost before my youngest was born. He was taken from our care and put back into the very unsafe and unhealthy lives of his biological parents for six months. Just when I had accepted that I would never see him again, God brought him back to us for good. It has been a tremendous struggle making it official, but God has had it under control all along. This little boy was born premature, addicted and with major heart and lung problems. Now he plays sports, teases his little sister, runs everywhere, and most importantly loves Jesus and his Bible at just three years old!
My oldest niece shares her birthday with my youngest daughter, only she will be turning nineteen. Just two months ago she fell 100 feet to the ground off of a train trestle to avoid an oncoming train. She should have died, but God has bigger plans for her life. She spent Thanksgiving in ICU with broken bones and internal injuries. Today she is in her second week back at college and just had the final braces removed from her body!
Life gets hard, tedious, repetitious, even just plain sad at times. But I think we all have miracles in our lives if we just take a few moments to reflect and rejoice and remember, “Nothing is impossible with God!”
Next Week’s Author: Kim Ashbaugh
Blessed to be a Mother
May 13th, 2011Hello, Passionate Purposeful Readers!
Thanks to my husband PPP now has a new website! 
If you have a chance, I would love for you to click over and check it out, and if you wouldn’t mind, “liking” it. I am reposting this week’s post on the new website…. In doing so, we lost all the comments that were on before. If you have a chance to comment again on this post, that would be wonderful!
Any thoughts, suggestions, comments etc. are always greatly appreciated. You can get in contact with me via the Contact page of the website. Passionate Purposeful Parenting’s sole purpose is to help encourage and equip parents!
Thanks so much and may God bless you as you seek Him and as you seek to parent your children purposefully!
Smiles and Blessings,
Melanie Robbins
I took some time on Mother’s Day just thinking about my journey to motherhood and came up with a little poem expressing my thoughts.
I have longed to be a Mommy since before I was three,
Playing with my dollies and serving them tea
Even after college with my degree,
I knew being a full time mom was ultimately for me
After two years of teaching my dream came true,
I was married and instantly blessed with not one, but two!
I thought I’d start with babies but God had a plan of His own
I began motherhood with two kids already half-grown
They filled my days with indescribable joy
My nine-year-old girl and seven-year-old boy
School, soccer, baseball, laundry, cooking and more
But never did these tasks seem to be a chore
For I was made to be a mommy and God blessed me from the start
Years later there was a strong desire for more children in my heart
Giving birth to a child didn’t seem to be in God’s will
Other options were pursued yet met with disappointment still
Then out of the blue God’s power was shown
I was to give birth to a child of my own
Just two months after this wonderful news
A baby boy needed a home and it was us God would chose
So in His mercy and amazing grace
Four beautiful children now fill my heart where there once was a space
They are the loves of my life and every single day
I am living the life of what can happen when you pray
I must remember these children are gifts from above
As I strive to teach them above all to love!
Loving Through the Messy Moments
January 20th, 2011
As I sat in a restaurant with my two adorable youngest children (who are on the brink of their 2nd and 3rd Birthdays), watching rice soar through the air and sippy cups go flying across the floor in the paths of the nice business men looking for a table, I was hit with a realization-I am that mom I used to feel sorry for! The one who hadn’t read all those great books on discipline and has uncontrollable children!
I write this with a smile as my babies are napping peacefully at the moment. They really are sweet, precious gifts from God, but after pictures at JC Penney, a stroller ride through several mall stores and with nap-time on the horizon my little ones were totally out of control!
This past year with two toddlers has been a big lesson in compassion for me. Having adopted my older two children after marrying their father when they were seven and nine, I hadn’t yet dealt with this stage at a hands-on level. Sure, I got my degree in Elementary Education, have worked with kids for sixteen years, and read a multitude of books on parenting, but sometimes reality doesn’t quite fit into that practical little box! It’s in these times of utter chaos that I try to stay the calm in the storm. Deep breaths, soothing speech and simple instructions can go a long way. These little ones are my long-awaited gifts from God and at times such as these I must remember to thank Him and compassionately focus on their needs and how God would want me to react. Harsh words, threats and anger would only exasperate a situation such as this.
So as I wipe up sticky rice, apologize to a few fellow customers and kiss those little dirty faces, I feel God’s love for imperfect me and try to pass it on to my imperfect little babies!
Next Week’s Author: Tyler Robbins
Gentle Words
September 15th, 2010
Author: Jaime DeCarlo
Jaime is a proud mommy of several children, all who have come to her in ways she never would have imagined! Angela is her 23-year-old, married step-daughter, Shelly (18) and Kenneth Jr. (16) are her husband’s biological and her adopted children of 9 years, Emmalyn is her miracle baby of 1 year that was never supposed to be and Logan her 2 year old foster-baby that has come and gone for the past 20 months!
My house can often get loud and crazy! With two teenagers, two toddlers, two dogs and two cats, those after school through dinner-time hours can be chaotic and leave me feeling frazzled. Here’s a typical scene: little ones are just up from their afternoon nap; still a little grumpy, hungry, thirsty and not quite knowing what they want. Ironically my two teenagers often walk in from school at this time in the same state. Then there are cats wanting to go out, dogs wanting to come in, phone ringing, etc. If you are a mom the picture is a familiar one!
I know I have to set the scene. If I raise my voice to be heard above the screaming babies, arguing teenagers and loud pets, the chaos grows and no one feels content. However, if I remain calm and react with gentle words, our next few hours as a family will be much more peaceful. With the little ones I’ve found that taking them one at a time, crouching down to their level and very softly helping them ask for what they need can instantly calm their distress, make them feel secure, and quiet their screams. Then on to the older ones: If I pick one to focus on and gently tell the other one to come back in a few minutes for their turn, it makes them feel important and they can be heard one-on-one. Whether they need juice, a diaper change, money for school activities or permission to study with a friend, if mom reacts calmly and makes them feel important, it increases their peace and security at any age.
These are not words of wisdom by any means, just a reminder that just as God is gentle with us and patiently, lovingly values each of us as individuals, we can do the same with our children even in those loud, crazy moments when everyone needs mom at once!
In The Power of a Positive Mom, we are reminded that, “Our calling is to honor Christ in raising our families and building our homes.” Staying focused on this goal can help us remain the gentle, loving servants God has called us to be even if diapers are dirty, game clothes are unwashed, kids are fighting, dinner is burning, the phone is ringing…!
Next Week’s Author: Tyler Robbins
Making a Memory
June 21st, 2010
Author: Jaime DeCarlo
Jaime is a proud mommy of several children, all who have come to her in ways she never would have imagined! Angela is her 23-year-old, married step-daughter, Shelly (18) and Kenneth Jr. (16) are her husband’s biological and her adopted children of 9 years, Emmalyn is her miracle baby of 1 year that was never supposed to be and Logan her 2 year old foster-baby that has come and gone for the past 20 months!
Coming home at 10:30 Friday after a late night visit to my mom’s, I peaked in to see my two teenagers, the only ones still awake in the house, sitting together watching TV. “A Crunch Wrap from Taco Bell sure sounds good,” said my daughter, followed by my son, “Yea mom, can you make us some food?” My first thoughts were: it’s too late to go back out and I certainly don’t want to mess up the kitchen at this time of night! But after a brief pause and admiring their sweet Friday night innocence, I realized we were on the brink of a rare bonding moment and said, “Ok let’s go!”
Being a busy, slightly controlling mother of four, spontaneity is definitely not my thing! However as we piled into my son’s little truck laughing and singing to the fuzzy music blaring from his stereo, I knew I had made the right decision. Often times as parents we tend to get caught up in how things “should be”, how “late it is”, or how “there are so many things I need to get done!” But in stopping the busyness of life for a few moments to do something out of the ordinary, a lot can be learned. It was during this little trip that the music was turned down and I finally heard some long awaited details from my son’s recent trip to summer camp. My daughter also took time to reach from the back seat and show me what her and her friend had been texting back and forth all night. We teased each other about the pimple cream on my son’s nose as he ordered at the drive-up window and my daughter’s very off key voice as she sang. More importantly it was a chance to hop up and share some good clean fun with my two precious teenagers whose time left in our home is flying by!
Being blessed with children of varying ages (18, 16, 2 and 1) I see daily how fast it all goes by! Take time for those moments to do the unexpected and make memories, for before we know it our kids will be making memories with their own sweet babies!
Next Week’s Author: Tyler Robbins
Too Much Stuff
February 4th, 2010
Author: Jaime DeCarlo
Jaime is a proud mommy of several children, all who have come to her in ways she never would have imagined! Angela is her 23-year-old, married step-daughter, Shelly (17) and Kenneth Jr. (15) are her husband’s biological and her adopted children of 9 years, Emmalyn is her miracle baby of 1 year that was never supposed to be and Logan is her almost 2 year old foster-baby that has come and gone for the past 20 months!
As I am reminded of my turn to write for PPP, I regretfully realize I have forgotten another thing to do! “What is wrong with my mind?, I ask myself, feeling foolish!
I am typically a very organized person who is usually on time and honors commitments, but lately it’s been crazy around here! As I look at my “clutter table”, that’s been called so since Christmas, push around piles of magazines and unread ads and sort through hundreds of baby toys all over the house all day, I begin to realize part of the problem: we have TOO MUCH STUFF!
Lately I have noticed that the more family members, the more stuff you accumulate. Makes sense, but also makes for so much more to do each day and can easily become very overwhelming! I have been trying to have my teenagers go through all their closets and drawers more lately and it’s just amazing to see what comes out of their rooms! My son just cleaned out his toy box and he is sixteen years old! He had old shoes, soda cans, notebooks, candy, etc., unbelievable right, until I take inventory of my quite large walk-in closet where there is also old clothes, candy, and things like tape recorders, come on!!!
So, while my post may not seem extremely Biblical or parent-related, here’s how I see it. First of all, as Christians, we all know that we can’t take any of this stuff with us when we are gone, so having too much or being too tied to old stuff for sentimentality is really useless for the most part. Secondly, if I had less stuff to sort though, organize and clean, I would have more time to play with my babies and listen to my teenagers.
I am trying to give things away at every opportunity: to the library, Cancer Society, Good Will, Salvation Army, coat drives, even canned food drives! It feels so good to give and I never really miss it or wish I had it back! Also I am reminding myself that it’s not a sin to throw away that broken VCR or those worn out shoes from college sitting in the back of the closet. It feels good to get organized and frees me up to be a better, more patient mommy as well!
Next week’s author: Wendy Clark
It’s All Yours God
October 7th, 2009
Jaime is a proud mommy of several children, all who have come to her in ways she never would have imagined! Angela is her 23-year-old, married step-daughter, Shelly (17) and Kenneth Jr. (15) are her husband’s biological and her adopted children of 9 years, Emmalyn is her miracle baby of 8-months that was never supposed to be and Logan is her 18-month-old foster-baby that has come and gone for the past 14 months!
Having just put down (for the third time) our precious foster-baby tonight, I am on the verge of tears and questioning God once again. Why was he returned to dysfunctional parents almost a year ago and then given back to us after 8 months? Why doesn’t the judge in our county understand how stable and secure he is in our home? Why did he just have an extended visit with his biological parents and come home so traumatized that he screamed himself to sleep in my arms tonight after we had finally gotten him into a great routine of going to sleep with little-to-no crying in the same room as our baby daughter?
Eleven months ago I was driving this same sweet foster baby boy, Logan, back to his birth parents “for good” and playing on the radio was Steven Curtis Chapman’s song, “It’s All Yours God.” That song helped me tremendously at the time, as this was the second foster baby boy in a row that we thought we’d be able to adopt and suddenly the tables turned on us. I constantly remind myself that all our kid’s are really God’s no matter how they come to us or for how long!
Shortly after that, we had our own baby (the miracle baby that we never thought we could have) and soon after she turned 6-months -old, we got a call from social services. Logan was back in “the system” and did we want to take him in again? Shocked and thrilled, we said “yes” instantly and he was back to us within 3 hours! That was almost two months ago and now we are awaiting a trial that could either leave him here or send him back into his former scary, dysfunctional lifestyle, and it’s harder than I could have ever imagined.
I must constantly remind myself of the fact that Logan is in God’s hands before the social workers, judges, lawyers, etc. This precious boy has flourished in our home under routine, consistency, love and joy in the past two months, but we may have to lift up our hands and let him go once again. Without God, this would be an impossible task, but thankfully, I know that it’s all His and I really have no control over what happens to any of my children whether they come to me by marriage, birth, adoption, or fostering!
I just encourage you, no matter what their ages or what trouble they may be giving you, to cherish your children every moment of every day and always remember that they are all God’s and He is free to give and take away as he sees fit. Find joy in today with your children!
Next Week’s Author: Wendy Clark
Cherish Your Children
July 8th, 2009
Jaime is a former elementary school teacher and currently a stay-at-home mom. She has been married to her wonderful, hard-working husband, Ken, for eight years. Together they have Shelly (17), Kenneth Jr. (15), and their miracle baby, Emmalyn (5 months).
In reading my introduction, one may wonder about the years of marriage vs. the ages of our children, so please let me explain. God gave me a unique situation of “picking out” my first two children. My first year as a first grade teacher, I fell instantly in love, but not with my husband. You see I first fell in love with his darling little tomboy seven-year-old daughter and sweet baby faced five-year-old son! As I taught one and the other was in the classroom next door, I longed to fulfill the needs of these precious motherless children. My husband was an excellent single father, but they still needed a mommy’s touch. I began taking interest in their lives beyond the classroom. They became my special helpers after school and I began attending their sporting events and other extracurricular activities. I prayed daily that some how I could be their mommy and over the next two years, God put our family together in the most amazing way (of course I fell in love with their dad eventually too!)
Yesterday our family celebrated our eighth anniversary together and ironically during my morning reading I came across this statement, “Many people have children, but do not want to be parents.” Now if you are reading this post, you are most likely not in that category of parents, but how sad that one even exists! Children are so dear to my heart and I encourage all moms out there to not just want to be parents, but to continually grow into better parents through God’s word and the many other great resources out there. Last week’s post was about putting our spouse first and I couldn’t agree with that more, but let’s put our children next, not our jobs, ministry, goals and to-do lists. It seems like just yesterday Shelly was my little favorite first-grade student and now she is my 17-year-old working daughter! And that 5-year-old baby faced boy in the class next door just had his first driving lesson with his new permit! It goes so fast. Often people see our family with two teenagers and a baby and give us that “Why are you starting all over?” look. Well we are blessed beyond belief to get to do it all over again and we will cherish every moment.
Enjoying Every Moment
April 22nd, 2009
Author: Jaime DeCarlo
Busyness can often make us feel stressed out, always hurried, and annoyed at every little roadblock that slows us down. I tend to feel this way quite a bit and as a mother of three, often feel overwhelmed with schedules, housework, paperwork, laundry, dishes, and life in general! However that’s not the picture of a Godly woman that God paints for us in the Bible and many women who I admire have taught me to slow down and enjoy moments rather than rushing through them all. Nothing has taught me to do this better than my sweet, precious, nine-week-old miracle baby! When it’s 3 am and the last thing I want is to be is awake, I try to remember how very shortly she won’t be waking me up at night and won’t need me nearly as much. I even try to enjoy those dirty diapers because before we know it, she’ll be out of them and I don’t want to rush through any of her care. This thinking has opened my eyes up to try to enjoy my big kids more too. In the busyness of after school activities, homework and chores, I try to also make some memories weather with jokes, a special talk, or just plain silliness. I highly recommend every busy mom to take a deep breath and remember our little cuties will be grown and gone before we know it. No one will be messing up the house any more and we will actually miss those days. Keeping that at the front of my mind helps to enjoy every moment!
Next Week’s Author: Wendy Clark
Consequences
February 4th, 2009
Writer: Jaime DeCarlo
As I thought about what to write for the past week I struggled between two topics: love and consequences. Then it dawned on me that the two actually go together! If we truly love our children, we have to follow through with appropriate consequences for their wrong actions and attitudes. It’s easy at first, some use time outs, others spank, and for several years this works just fine. But what about the teen years? I am the mother of two wonderful teenagers, both in high school where peer pressure is stronger than ever. I love my kids passionately! My schedule revolves around them, I think of them all day and still want to do everything for them, but the fact of the matter is, I can’t or I wouldn’t be truly loving them at all. To love them I have to give them chores, responsibility and follow through with consistent consequences when boundaries are crossed. This gets more difficult as kids get older and we have to come up with creative consequences. Taking away a cell phone is always a good one, until you realize how much you need to call your own child to communicate, and it actually hinders you as parents! Then there is the ipod for many, but do I really want to take positive, Christian music out of the ears of my kids because they have done wrong?
My husband has always been great at coming up with consequences that fit the action and I have spent many years learning from him. We have to stay on top of our kids even more as they grow up because there are so many resources out there for them to communicate with others. If they tell a lie now, they aren’t going to get a spanking, but they probably won’t be going out to that next great event their friends have planned. If chores are overlooked one afternoon, then they will have twice as many the next day before they do anything else. If dishes are left out, they will be the one to unload the dishwasher that night. None of these ideas take a genius to come up with, but the concept of making appropriate consequences that fit the “crime” is one that has really helped me make decisions in these uncertain years of parenting teenagers. I believe these consequences will really help my kids as they emerge into the adult world of reality. I never desire to punish my kids, but I try very hard to be consistent and creative with consequences because I love them so much and desire for their character to be one that emulates Christ.
Next week’s writer: Wendy Clark
